The Joy of Semi-colons;

I love the semi-colon; you may have noticed? I love the idea of joining two separate sentences together by tying them to a single concept. I think it's closer to how we actually construct our thoughts than any alternative. The comma, conjunctive and period/full stop are fine in their place, but none reflect that instinctive way of arranging a process of thought or action.

I like semi-colons. They reflect thought patterns. <---UGLY! Who is ‘they?’

I like semi-colons, they reflect thought patterns <---Hideous comma-splice, begging for a conjunctive

I like semi colons because they reflect thought patterns <---Stilted, but clear to understand

I like semi-colons: They reflect thought patterns <---Huge over-kill! Save that colon for a dramatic reveal

I like semi-colons; they reflect thought patterns <---Pure elegance

There is a scale of pause implied in the punctuation we use, which, though it is all read at the same speed, allows us to impart drama with slow reveals or a fast series of actions. The colon is king of drama, drawing your attention to some momentous consequence of the preceding sentence. The blade sliced through Ashely’s chain: He was a prisoner no more. The semi-colon sits right in the middle, letting you know that what’s going on isn’t a moment of high drama, but drawing your attention to a consequence more than a mere comma. The blade sliced through Ashely’s chain; his bike would need some repairs.

Slow DRAMA <----> Fast ACTION

. : ; , as

And of course, you can use semi-colons to break up complex lists. My old wallet contains: A membership card to an abandoned gay club in Sheffield, featuring a delightful clipart rainbow; an expired debit card; a Tesco club card; an organ donor card; photos of two past lovers; notably not a photo of my most recent ex; a passport photo of me in my goatee and leather-jacket phase; a business card for Andy Seton, Magic and Mentalism; a durex from India, slightly too small for comfort; and a durex from Canada, labelled in French ‘un préservatif en latex,’ which automatically makes it romantic. And you will have noticed, though graceful use of semi-colons, we know exactly when the list starts and stops.

Semi-colons were once a staple of English writing and used extensively by Jane Austin and Charles Dickens; now, sadly, almost faded from use. My editor frequently strips them out of my work, declaring “no one understands them, you have to imagine your audience doesn’t have a degree.”

*Deep grumbling*

I shall use a semi-colon as often as I please; it is the only punctuation that gives me joy! At no point - in four years of uni - did anyone mention semi-colons. But what about those dashes? You understood those – didn’t you?

Dashes have almost the same meaning and seem way less formal. I use them online all the time. The trouble with dashes is that they have two different lengths. I have to trick my word processor into making them look like the one I want. Whereas, the semi-colon sits nicely under a finger on the home row; ever constant, ever beckoning.

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-

Are semi-colons a turn off for you? Is my editor right?

Let me know.

Thank you for reading my rant; probably the geekiest thing I have ever tried to articulate.